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    19/11/2007

    回忆~

    回忆是啥东西,回忆是不停的叹息。 
    是否是因为长大,所以才会回忆,而且回忆都很吃力,我老了。 
    我不介意回忆往昔,往昔那些苦涩和甜蜜,生动的,至少还有些可以回忆。 
    不想长大,面对数不清摸不着的烦恼,始终学不会怎样处理。 
    这长大的过程,是煎熬,是无力的挣扎,只剩下嚎叫。 
    可是必须生硬的和这过程碰面,还不能后退。 
    回忆,开始清晰,又渐渐模糊。 
    腿色到空白,回忆也都慢慢乏味,失去回忆的兴趣。 
    潮起潮落,都一个鬼样。 
    回忆里的点滴也都一样,已确定的故事,改变是痴人说梦。 
    我越来越讨厌回忆,但摆脱不了,像幽冥,缠绕着摆脱不去。 
    自认为无所畏惧,其实是在回忆里无所作为,自欺欺人。 
    过去的始终都是过去,死后重生都是放屁。 
    甜蜜让我恶心,苦涩使我眼含泪滴,忍住,不落下。 
    可回忆里的往昔也把我抓的牢牢的,不放手。 
    我无颜面对回忆,更无颜面对自己。 
    在镜子面前束手无策,把芳香的百合当作垃圾。 
    抱着那束百合,被迷醉,迷失在回忆里,迷失自己。 
    往昔,彩色的画卷,生生不息的在跳动。 
    静止的,我看不见。跳动的,我不想看见。 
    再也不相信回忆,否决死后重生的可能性。 
    现在,我需要一个人,或者是浓烈的酒精。 
    现实,我长大了,虽然这个过程让我很不喜欢,甚至心生怨恨。 
    但长大是现实,我只能看着,慢慢吞噬自己的过去。 
    我不在乎过去、现在和将来,即使都是空白也不怕。 
    在乎的是眼中色彩,不想失去,不想让回忆变成黑白。 
    金钱,权利,感情,所有的一切,都要一个人背负。 
    成长,在诱惑里挣扎,陷下去,就没有了爬上来的力气。 
    回忆中清醇的气息,彩色的天地,纯洁的让我向往、期待。 
    但这些景色,都是过去式了。 
    知道自己会有摆脱回忆的那天,就是不知道该为那天的到来感到庆幸还是悲哀。 
    无论何种答案,都是我自己造成的,怪不得别人。 
    我要让回忆死去,即使痛苦也要继续。 
    没有力气再去缠绵,该死的就让她死去,必须要死去。 
    都无所谓了,回忆,只是这个过程的一段小插曲。 
    不要再奢望死后重生了,狠的下心我就不会再生悔意。 
    痛快的,把彩色枪毙,让回忆死去 
    学会选择学会放弃 不要总忙碌现在的事 要看看以后有什么选择啊! 

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    小西wrote:
    中秋节快乐……
    13 Sept.

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